Things I’ll Never Say.

Published May 16, 2012 by itsifeoma

I won’t Tell you
About my childhood,
Learning to accept
Who i was
As a little child.

I won’t tell you
How much my mother
Hated me.
How she always wished aloud,
She would have
Gotten rid of me
Because, according to her
I wrecked her dreams
Of having a brighter future.

I won’t tell you
How Uncle James,
My mother’s lover
The man whom i thought
Was going to be my father,
Destroyed
My Childhood Innocence
He told me
“I did it so that we could
Share a bond,
Together, Forever”
He Lied, he only ruined me.

I won’t tell you
How i craved attention,
As a young girl
How much
I wanted a friend,
Someone whom i could
Share my thoughts with,
To feel affection,
To be needed.
But there was no one.

I won’t tell you,
How i searched for Peace
Within my inner self.
I need her so much,
To mend my open sores.
And I found her
Or I thought I had found her.

We met on a lonely cold night
Down the alley,
Where the rejects stayed
Sniffing her
Like she was their only hope.

She changed my sad times
Into high times,
Even though it was temporary,
She still made me feel good.
Or so I thought
Till she ruined me.
Again.

I was drawn
Far away from reality.
I was slowly becoming
A recluse.
My situation
Had become irredeemable.

I won’t tell you
Why I’m Standing
On the handrails of
This bridge,
In the wee hours of the morning,
Waiting for the half rising sun,
With this Rope
In my right hand.
I inhale
The cool morning breeze
Deeply.
Who knows,
It just might be my last.

I won’t tell you
Why i’m taking this leap,
To meet the Immortal One
And ask him
“why did it have to turn out this way?”
And beg him
If I could return once more,
In a different situation.

As i tighten the rope
On my neck,
I won’t tell you why.
Because,
These
Are the things I’ll Never Say.

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2 comments on “Things I’ll Never Say.

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